the new me

mood: thinking
music: Wisemen - James Blunt

ok. this is the new me. recreating of myself. no one is gonna fuck me around anymore. at least, i think. well school is disgusting. it sucks through a straw. haha. if only i would be bothered to go for lessons. if only i could not go for lessons and still catch up. this means a lot of reading however. so many ifs, but nothing i am willing to do about it. i am enjoying my freedom, though. i love it. i have never liked having to account for my comings and goings, and now that i don't have to, i am so loving it. so i guess i should be happy. but. there's a small part of me that isn't. well a huge part. i've come to terms with who i am a long time ago, yet it's still not getting any easier. i wonder when everything will be alright? thinking again. however, if everything is alright, then i would never know the feeling of being relieved, of feeling as though a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders. why? because everything is alright. so. thought of the day: should everything be alright?