will i ever change??

mood: half-drunk

music: out of control - Hoobastank

after a drinking session with my roommate. sigh will i ever change. i keep promising myself i will drink less, smoke less, but it all just isn't working. because i don't really make an effort to do so. the consequence? i am half drunk again. i can't see nor type properly. the worst thing? i have lessons at half past eight in the morning tomorrow and it's already one in the morning. well. anyway. i have fallen in love again. but, however, my loves don't last. or shall i say they're only fantasies. if only they were real. but i can't hardly expect everyone to treat me the same when i come out. its silly and stupid to think this way. so. they will never be real. don't i know that. being drunk has put me in a perspective mood. i think.. if only the world was equal. and everyone was equal. and thought equal. then things would turn out easier. as it is, i don't think so. but, i will not go into that. this is just my drunken ramblings. ahaha. thought of the day: u get drunk so u don't have to think??