i feel
I feel like someone has reached into my body and ripped out my heart, leaving an open wound there.I never knew it could and would hurt so much, so bad, so deeply. With every breath I take, it is as if something is blocking my airway, I can't breathe properly, and there is such a heavy, painful weight on my heart.
I can't even get to sleep. When I do sleep, for that short span of time, I dream that all things were ok between us. Then I dream that we settles whatever was wrong. This comes as such a shock, even in my dreams I cannot reconcile what is happening now to what was happening before. I can't sleep, I can't live in reality.
I feel so empty, I don't know how to feel happiness. I thought I was happy, now I think I can never be, not for a long time to come.
Maybe because I'm in shock. Maybe because just the night before, we were still talking normally and sweetly, that I never thought that would happen yesterday. That I never thought she would end the relationship the next day. I am in such shock and pain it is almost physical.
There are so many of my questions left unanswered, so many things left unsaid. I don't even know how it came about, why it came about, and how do i move on now.
She is so much stronger than I am, I am so weak when it comes to love. Maybe because I put my all in a relationship, because I let down my guard.
It hurts so so badly, and there is nothing I can do. I love someone who cannot love me back now.
I wish things could revert back to normal, where we were happy. I wish for so many things, but I know none of it can come true. I wish it could. My wish, the wish that flew away with my heart and with my soul.
The only thing left are tears.
I have to go on with my facade, and hopefully no one will know.
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep seeing you walk through that door
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much..
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
posted by slantedvision at 2:12 PM
3 Comments:
hope that u are ok..
i'm fine, at least i hope i'm as fine as i can be. there isn't much to be ok about, not when the world has come crashing down, in as many words as can be said. but thanks, anyway.
*you are not weak and i believe you can get yourself outta this.
you will find someone who'll make you understand why it didn't work out with her-- it sounds so optimistic, but time flies and you'll see.
i admire you completely for putting your defenses down. there are so many who continue to live life with caution that they miss out on these experiences that help shape who they are and who they should be.
you are not in the losing end... what goes around, comes around. the only direction left for you is to climb back up. like you said, you can't sink any lower.
i've been through that feeling... the kind where you've given your whole self to someone and just when you thought she was the "one" she pulls a trigger and you're left dead.
for all the right and wrong things you've said and done, fate plays a huge role in your story. its got something bigger in store for you. stay strong and try to find the one thing that will or might help you find new happiness.
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