befuddled

i really don't get it. if you know that no matter what you do won't save the situation at all, and would lead to worst consequences, why are people still so obstinate as to try and control? you would just be stressing yourself out, taking yourself down. oftentimes, situations and people cannot be controlled. why control what you can't? why not let yourself lead an easier life? i just don't get it.

on another note, i guess im a little of an altruist. im happy when people are. so i try to make them happy. what's the point if ultimately you're only happy for yourself everyday? in the long run, would you be truly satisfied? don't worry, i do things in moderation, as Shakespeare writes in Measure for Measure.

in any case, i had another weird dream last night. lately all my dreams are weird, its scary. its as if my mind is constantly thinking befuddled, bewildered, wild thoughts. last night i dreamt that for some reason, all classes were to start at 1050am, although mine was at 130pm. i remember being v worried, because i didn't want to attend classes without my friends, who didn't know about it. i recall driving past a row of houses, where the traffic was heavy, and then upon looking into one of the houses, i saw a traditional Chinese wedding taking place, with the bride in a red cheongsam, and the groom in a tuxedo. and there were so many other men in tuxedos in the house, drinking and chatting, yet there was only one lady. the funny thing was, it was the kind of wedding that only occured in the olden days.

so you can imagine how puzzled i was, with the contrast of a modern day setting and an olden days wedding. i wonder what it all means. or maybe its just my mind drifting away from me, into silly thoughts. haha.