to feel, to think, to feel

Even if you hurt, at least you feel.

Do you see that? That's what I think. I used to think, in the past, of parochial things that didn't matter. To me, what I wanted was what I should have, if I didn't have it, everyone was doing me wrong. I took a lot for granted. I used to hate to hurt, in love, because it was so painful.

But now, things are a little different. I still hate to hurt, in love, but I have come to realise that what I hurt, I feel. At least I feel. There are people out there, whom I know, who don't feel. They switch from one girl to the next, and they don't ever feel. Their relationships last maybe a month or two, and then they switch. Without any feelings whatsoever. Stone cold. They don't feel. But at least I feel.

Nowadays, I realise I feel a lot more, about a lot of things, as compared to the past. Previously, I never really bothered about how my friends would feel if I were to call off meeting them all of a sudden, I never really bothered about my parents and the financial burden they have, I never really bothered about health. Now I do. For the whole of this year, I bother about a lot more stuff.

I realised this whole thing about me feeling a lot more, when I was watching this tv serial, about some fools in love. And the whole thing they went through, from loving to losing to unintentionally hurting other people because we love, and because we love, we have to go to the one we really want, from sacrificing, to what rejection or lack of love can do to someone, all made me feel. They made me think about my own love, they made me think of how I cherish and treasure my own love. In other words, for lack of a clear expression, they made me think about my experience with love.

And I realised that I feel, because in the past, watching these kind of shows, listening to these kinda music, would never make me think so much, would never make me feel as much. But now, I do.

I'm glad I feel. And I'm glad I love.

Cheers for now, gotta go give tuition to two 9-and-10-year-old sisters who irritate me twice on a weekly basis. Hear from me (or you) soon, I hope :)