this heart, that fist

This fist that's holding my heart
Binding it tight
Sometimes I can't breathe
Sometimes I can't find peace
When I'm around you
That fist loosens and I can breathe
I can find peace
But sometimes it's hard to find the words
The words to describe how I feel
What I think
The words just don't come out right

The sun shines
Then the rain starts, as a drizzle
Gradually becomes heavier
Ends in a downpour
Only thing to do is to wait for the sun to shine again

Sometimes taking a breath is so hard
The air is so thin
Taking a breath out of nothing at all

So many things to say
No words to describe it
No expressions to use
The words I use aren't adequate enough
Not adequate enough to describe how I feel
And it starts to seem...
Trivial
Sarcastic
Wrong.

The things in life that hold us together
Make us who we are
Makes me who I am
But
It also breaks me
Sometimes..

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
I am...
I am.

Sometimes illusions, fantasies, are the only way I can keep going on
When everything seems to come down hard
These things overwhelm me
Dreaming, wishing, hoping, creating illusions
Wishing I could be with you all the time
Wishing for you to loosen the fist holding my heart
Squeezing every breath out of me

Words cannot describe how I feel
Search deep within me
No expressions that can describe what I think
How I feel
I find peace when I'm with you
I find happiness when you're with me

Then they come
They all come
Ghosts from the past, present, future
And I want to speak to you
I want to tell it all to you
Because I know only you can chase away the monsters from my nightmares
But it's so hard to express it
So hard to tell you how I feel
Because you are real
Because what I feel is so real

I just want to be with you wherever you are
Endlessly
For you take away everything bad
To find peace when I'm with you
To find complete, wholesome happiness
To give you complete, wholesome happiness and love
When I'm with you

I'm scared.
So so scared...

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
I am...
Oh god, I am...
I am.