looking through windows, blankly

I sometimes find myself looking out of the window blankly nowadays.

It isn't something that I often do; in fact, I don't normally stare out of the windows of my house, unless something is happening downstairs at the carpark.

I think that as I grow older, as I learn more and feel more, perhaps there are more things to be considered in life. At the same time, though, it is much easier to make choices now than it was in the past, when I was younger and did not learn much. It's as if I now know what it is I want out of my life, and how I should go about getting it. I am not all that certain; at times, I feel like I'm treading on eggshells. But anything is worth a try, and I feel that I sort of know which direction my choices will lean toward.

I find myself facing many crossroads nowadays, as well. Do you feel the same way too?

There are several forks in the road, and I just don't know which is the one that will lead me to happiness. I see you, across at one end of the fork. I see you, and you, and you and this and that at other ends of the cross roads. Everytime I think that I know what I want, something will crop up and make me wonder if it is really what I want.

But I've learnt enough to know that I need to follow my heart. If loving is all about intelligence and nothing of emotions, there isn't much room for love. Listen to your heart, listen to your mind. But your heart knows what you need, and what you want, most of all. Like how I believe my heart does.

Maybe that is why I sometimes find myself looking blankly out of the windows.

Love requires trust, and trust requires honesty. Without these, there isn't much room for love.

I want love. I want happiness.

Shine a light for me at the end of the road, will you? So I know which path I should take when I reach the crossroads.