to my dear laptop 1

My dearest laptop (aka lappie),

How does it feel to be well and healthy again? I know that you are very happy to be in your healthy state currently, and I'm very glad to see you happy and well.

I know that you really are very happy, because you are functioning very very well. Fast and efficient, with no lags anymore.

But, dear lappie, you are being too happy and it's affecting me. I know that you want to thank me for sending you to the doctor's when I knew you were ill, and taking care of you. But, dear lappie, this isn't the correct way of thanking me.

I know you are trying to repay your gratitude by being very functionable and efficient, but, dear lappie, you are distracting me from studying! Everytime I look at you, you will be looking back at me with a genuine grateful smile, and you will beckon me over to you, and so I will power you on, and happily use you. And then I will just push my studies aside and tell myself that I'll study later.

My dearest lappie, this isn't a very good thing to do now! Seeing as I cared for you while you were ill, do you think you could care for your owner's welfare too? You see, if your owner does not do well for her damn exams that are currently fast approaching and very, very stressing and difficult, there will be dire consequences to pay. The end result being that you, dear lappie, might have to be banished to the salvation army, or to some other owner with dirty smelly fat fingers and who does not treat you as nice as I do.

I think you know that I have gotten a bloody F for my accounting assignment, yes? After all, I spent hours doing it on you, and then cursing and swearing on you when I got an F. I'm sure you now how important it is for me to study like hell now for my 5 modules, and especially for accounting.

So, do you think you could try to repay your gratitude much later? Maybe after the 30th of April? Do you think you could try not to look at me with a grateful smile on your face? And try not to beckon me to you?

This is not neglecting you, my dear lappie. Don't worry, I would never neglect you. In fact, come the 30th of April, I will care for you and play with you like I always have.

But for now, please, please let me concentrate on my exams. Please, dear lappie.

You know I adore you truckloads, sweetheart. I hope you adore me as much too, and will let me focus on my examinations.

I'm glad you are happy and well and alive and kicking again.

Love,
Your loving, kind, caring, and very stressed owner.