can't, cannot, no

I tried to think of a million and one reasons to make leaving you reasonable. I tried to think of everything and anything that could even justify leaving you.

Nothing.
Not one reason.
Not one thing.
Nothing.

Was I wrong? I am the fool now, for leaving you. When I cannot think of any reason, anything, that justifies leaving you. That makes leaving you reasonable. Was I wrong? I've never been so wrong in my whole life, and now I am. That makes me the fool, for leaving. For leaving without even thinking things through. Without even a single, small, reasonable reason or justification. I am the fool, yes I am.

I've been crying the whole day. I've tried, really, I've tried, to stop crying. To stop the tears from coming. I succeed, for maybe about an hour and a half. And then some small thing reminds me of you, and the tears come to my eyes again.

I woke up crying, thinking of you. Dreaming of what could have been. I woke up every hour thinking of you, wishing for you to be here with me.

I spent the day in school trying not to cry. I went to class, and just that one spanish class made me tear. It made me tear and I felt like a fool. I went for my lecture, and it was cold. I put on your jacket. And your smell. Your smell... Your smell made me cry. I cried at lecture, pretending not to cry. It was everything. Every single little thing that reminded me of you.

I took the bus home. And the song was playing and it made me tear. I had to fight, I fought so hard to stem the tears. My teeth are tired from clenching, my hands hurt from gripping too tightly. My throat hurts from the permanent ball of tears that I try to keep inside. My eyes hurt, my eyes hurt from crying.

Everything about me hurts. Everything inside of me hurts.

Why do I cry? Why do I cry so much? Why have I not felt anything like this before, until now? I've fallen so hard, I've fallen too hard, I've loved so deeply, and now the pain is like nothing ever before.

Don't you know...?
Didn't you know...?

That all it takes is a little faith, a little trust, and love? It could all be so easy. We love. I love you, I love you so so much, with everything I have. And I know you do. That you love me. Everything that we could have going for us. It was made for us, but I let it go. Don't you know that all it takes is a little faith, a little trust, and just our love for each other?

We were made for each other. We are meant to be.

And one stupid action without thinking of the consequences led to this. The pain, the pain that hurts so bad.

I can't be as strong as you. I've tried, I've tried to be strong, but I can't be anymore, because it hurts so bad. Because I know I let the one person whom I love and whom I want to be with for life, go. I can't be strong. It hurts too much. So so deep...

Alone...
Never more alone than now...
Lonely...
I am, aren't I.

Let's come to think of this
Look at all that we could miss
I can't let this happen
Because it's you that I'll always be loving
Don't let this go
You know I love you so
Don't throw it away
Let our love grow
I can't let you go.