reality intrudes

well. once again reality intrudes. i was happy enough in my own little Shh.. world until reality decided to rear its ugly head. and no wonder. it appeared in the form of a friend. this form of reality, however, is not very welcome. i mean, what the fuck, if she wants to use someone, let her do so. that has nothing whatsoever to do with me. i've known since a long time ago that she's manipulative and cunning, but this is going way too far. ok, its justified in that there are some people whom you are friends with just for necessities sake or to use for some reason or another. but not all. if it is all, she is truly not a good friend. what got me so fucked up was the way she said it. you should have been there. she said it in sucha a cold, calculating, cunning manner that i just couldn't take it. i seldom argue back, because i'd rather everyone live in peace, but i just had to. and her verdict? i'm in a bad mood. its always the same thing no matter what. it has never occured to her that one's lousy mood could ba a reflection of whatever she's doing. oh no, sirree. the day she realises that, i'll eat my hat. she's grown up in an environment such that she gets almost everything she wants, hence she knows how to manipulate, to argue so that she'll always win. no matter what. and frankly, this kinda attitude greatly pisses me off.
so. she says she wants to be friends with someone so as to use her. well that's fine with me if she's doing it. just don't include me in what she does. but oh, no. maybe because part of her feels bad? so she goes "c'mon, i know you do the same too." and i'm like "what the fuck??" yes, i have some friends that are a necessity because this is school you're talking about, but no, i don't use them the way she's planning to. she's planning to use them such that she'll emerge victorious and nice and clean and so she'll get what she wants. or needs. then she'll just get up,dust off the dirt, and sashay away. i understand that because she's quite attractive, or rather, she knows how to be, so people usually fall into her trap. its fucked up, man.
and she says "everyone uses everyone." right. if that's her thinking, then ok. but why involve me in it again? is it because she doesn't want to do it alone as she knows its bad? i only hope so. and when i say "you'll get your come uppance one day", she scoffs at me. she says i'm talking like an angel when i'm not. and i'm not, i know. but i'm not trying to sound like one, i'm just trying to say i won't be like her. to use people to this degree. well i got so fucked up and annoyed i wanted to smack her gloating face.
however no one is perfect, and i know she is a good friend. most of the time. she isn't selfish and she's nice too. just that if her manipulative nature were to be kept under control, she would be so much nicer. but who am i to say? i am definately not perfect. i have got my flaws as well.
alright. i've run out of steam. i've ranted and raved and now i've no energy left. and i still have a ton of work to do and think about how to go about earning more stars to continue staying in the halls of residence.
so. thought of the day: everyone uses everyone?