words and hearts

Sometimes, when we quarrel, we lose track of what the original quarrel was about. I remember watching some tv show, and the couple was always quarrelling, day and night. The sad thing was, they loved each other. So then it got me thinking.

Sometimes, we argue and we quarrel, and we start to get riled up and angry. Then it all becomes semantic. We throw words at each other, we let our pride rule us, we let our emotions rule our mind and our words. We hurt each other, on purpose. All this, because one party is so angry at the other that she just wants to hurt the other. It isn't on purpose, but at that point of time, where emotions take first place, when tempers are at a high, neither party cares for what the other one feels. So we hurt, we throw words, we take all these in, and spit it out when it becomes fire.

But, when the tempers go away, when emotions have calmed down, we start to regret. Regret hurting, regret saying things you never meant. But by then, the damage is done, isn't it? Semantics leave you with wounds, cut open and bleeding. But we are all equipped to deal with wounds. It can heal. And all that is left will be a scar.

But i'm afraid. Not because i'm afraid of the girlfriend's temper, but because of what would happen should her temper rise to the highest degree. Everyone gets hurt. I get hurt, so does she. Then i have to deal with it carefully, tread carefully, tiptoe around on eggshells, because I dun want to further ignite her temper. To any one, it would seem like i was a coward. But in actual fact, I just don't want either of us to say or do things that we will both regret in the end, when it's all too late. When the girlfriend gets riled up, there are a lot of things that are called, that are said, that leave me, and her as well, stunned. Hurt. In pain. Because as a girlfriend, none of these things should ever be said to each other. So that is what I want to stop. Although when we argue, yes, i am at fault, sometimes she is, sometimes i am. But i don't want it to be so ugly. I don't want either of us to regret.

Last night, things came to a head, but we settled it. I know the girlfriend can calm her temper, i have seen her do it for abt 2 months. So i know its possible. I know i can be more understanding, i am doing so now. There are so many things we both can do, and I'm glad that we both settled our differences.

Because we still have such a long road to go. Because there is no love quite like ours. Because we want to dance to the tune of love.