tired.

I've been too tired recently. Exhausted. Maybe it's cos school has officially started, so i'm not used to waking up at say 630am or 7am in the morn. Then again, i always wake up early regardless of whether there's school or not, so i guess maybe it isn't just school alone.

There's a lot of things happening that i guess contributes in part to my tiredness. School, projects, the stress of having again to make necessary friends to do projects with, my family, and misunderstandings and/or arguments with the girlfriend.

The sense of tiredness is really almost always there. I can be energetic and lively for say, a few hours, then slowly, it dies down. I guess the travelling to and from school accounts slightly for that. Also the fact that I cannot sleep well at night. And that at times i think too much. And that the girlfriend misunderstands some of what i do, and sometimes we argue over silly stuff when all i want is to cuddle up to her.

This tiredness makes me want to sleep, but when i try to, i can't get to it. On the outside, to everyone, i have lots of energy. But at times, all i want to do is get some rest. It's like a weight on my chest, that at times makes me unable to breathe.

The girlfriend doesn't know this, but today when I was over at her place, after we argued, I just lay down in her lap and said I was very tired and wanted to sleep, and then I didn't move although she asked me to. What she didn't know was that I cried, at that time, hiding my face in her lap. I didn't know why but the tears just came out. I guess i was too tired. I guess there were too many things happening. I guess I just didn't want to always argue with her. I guess I didn't want her to argue with me when she was in a temper. I guess i wanted it to be reasonable. I guess that I was really really tired. Sigh.

And that, is all, about tired old me.