runaway

Can anyone please make me numb?

I would like to be numb, just so I don't feel anymore of this shit. It hurts so so much that its so so painful.

My heart is heavy, heavy like a rock. Every breath is a heavy sigh. And I hate to feel like this. I hate to be so deep inside my own pain. There are sadder people out there. Yet it seems as if I can only feel what I'm going through.

I need some form of answers. How and where I go about getting it is something else, I guess.

When one can walk away without hesitating, without turning back, without so much as a tear, I guess maybe I was the fool. Maybe this time I'm the loser. I guess I didn't matter enough for the one person to stay, for the one person to try. I wish I could go back to the days where she cared, where she loved. But well, I guess those are just hopes.

All along, I have never wanted to say this, because somewhere, somehow, I still hoped that maybe she did. But well.

I guess it is just that she doesn't love me.

What I have hoped never to write, is finally written.

And the fool in this game of love is me.

To anyone who knows me and is reading this, if I don't reply your SMSes or answer your calls it isn't that I don't like you or that I don't want to talk to you. It's merely because I think it's time for me to run.

To run away. To where my heart will stop hurting. To where maybe, just maybe, the tears will stop.

So sorry. I'm sorry.