songs and me

I wonder if you're a songs kinda person? A music kinda person?

This morning I woke up with these few lines in my head, and for a while it got irritating when I couldn't remember the chorus nor the title.

You light up another cigarette and I pour the wine
It's four o'clock in the morning and it's starting to get light
Now I'm right where I want to be, losing track of time
But I wish that it was still last night

And then finally I got the chorus in my head. Promise Me by Beverly Craven. Which then put me in the mood for oldies. Oldies love songs. Whereupon listening to those songs made me feel loved, romantic, sad, lovesick, whatever else there is. Songs like If I Ever Fall In Love Again by Shai, Constant Craving by kd lang, and After All by Al Jarreau.

So anyway, it made me think of what songs do for you. I have friends who aren't the songs/music kinda person. Songs do not bring them back to the past, to the present, towards to future. Music doesn't have much of an emotional impact on them. For them, the beauty of the words in a song is lost. To them, material things bring back more memories, have more of an impact.

But I don't know. It differs for me. Certain songs bring back certain lost memories. Certain wonderful memories. Sometimes sad, sometimes nostalgic, most parts loving and happy. There are certain songs that remind me of certain stages of my life in the past. Of what I was doing then, when I heard the song. Even of how I was feeling then.

I remember that when I was 7, my uncle passed away from a sudden heart attack. Because he was my dad's elder brother, so my dad had to make the funeral arrangements. And I remember vivdly waiting in the car everyday while my dad was at the wake. And there was this children's song playing in the car, that goes like this.

My grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf
So it stood ninety years on the floor
It was taller by half than the old man itself
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more
... ...
But it stopped short, never to go again
When the old man died.

And I remember feeling sad everytime I heard the part where the old man died. Because it reminded me of the wake, and of my dad, who was grieving at that time. So everytime I hear this song in passing, I'm always quieter, sadder, because it brings back memories.

Songs do that to me, I guess. Evoke emotions. Be it happy or sad. But these emotions, these memories are not regrets. It isn't a longing to return to the past. It's more of nostalgia. Just remembering, but not wanting to return. Not regretting. Because isn't life about the now?

There is beauty in the words of a song. There is beauty in the melody of a song. Maybe that's why I don't stop playing the piano, even though I don't take lessons anymore. Because the melody alone, the words alone, encompasses different emotions.

So I guess I'm a song/music kinda person. You'll never find me anywhere without my mp3 player.

When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue
When you're close to me, I can feel your heartbeat
I can feel you breathing near my ear
Wouldn't you agree, babe, you and me, got a groovy kind of love.

This makes me think of you. And of love.