because, therefore

we have grown to know each other quite well. very well, i might add. we've grown to know each other's naunces and idiosyncrasies. we have learnt to read between the lines and the subtext of what is or isn't being said.

so we push to get our point across. because we want the other to understand. she wants me to understand, i want her to understand. i want her to know why i do this, why i didn't do that, and i want to explain it to her. she wants me to know that she doesn't need to hear it, that she knows what went wrong, that there is no need to dwell on certain things, that she is this way, and i am this way. so we push to get our point across.

whereas in the past she would have just let it go, whereas in the past i would just swallow my annoyance or irritation and deal with it on my own, now she tells me; now i tell her.

underneath it all, there is one thing that stands out clearly like red on white. underneath all these silly arguments and fights, i think if we were to think it through, really think it through, there is one very common reason why we keep pushing our points.

she loves me, she really does. because she does, she wants me to understand, she wants me to know that i don't have to tell her a second time. because she loves me, she gets upset when i don't take what she says to heart, when i don't believe what she says. because she loves me. and because i love her, i want to explain why i do what i do to her. i want to explain what makes me sad, what irritates me, what annoys me, so that we do not have to argue over the same things over again.

see the red on white?? it is just love. in retrospect, it really is kinda cute. the things we fight over. yes, we get overly pissed off, overly annoyed, and stupid rash biting words fly out of our mouths before it passes through our brains. but it really is kinda funny and cute, in retrospect.

we cannot keep fighting over stupid silly things. i resolve to do something about this. i don't want to keep arguing with her over nothing. so i must do something to resolve this.

she loves me and i love her.
simple as day.