reflections

time for a little reflection.

so, we've been arguing almost everyday over the stupidest minute issues. she's counted it and put it as 4 days that we've been arguing. today is the first day of many days that we won't argue. but we don't fight everyday. it's more of, we're sweet and nice, then when we talk, sometimes certain issues come up, and we start arguing. and these issues are small. as in.

we are okay today, because i explained myself to her last night. and i must admit, us being okay feels great. seeing as it's blindsight on hindsight, i suppose some reflection wouldn't hurt.

we've been together more than a year now. and i think i've come to be very familiar, and very attuned to her nuances and idiosyncrasies. her way of speaking, her way of subtly trying to get me to say sweet stuff to her (but since i know it, obviously it isn't subtle), and her way of trying to get into my good books again when she knows she's said or done something wrong. i am not being arrogant, but i think i know her. i think i really do know her a lot, perhaps more than she knows herself.

the reason why i say this is because i know when she's trying to just be nice and sweet and obliging because she wants to get back into my good books, or because she just wants me to stop being in a bad mood. its a subtle thing that i've come to realise about her. and i am happy, i am truly glad that i know her. as well as she knows me.

she really knows me -- every word, every expression, every tone that i use. she knows when i'm about to cry, even when i haven't even started to tear. she knows when i'm so sad, she knows when i'm happy. she knows when i'm having pre-next-working-day blues even if i don't. she knows if i'm about to cry, and sometimes it gets scary because then i'll have to lie and say no, even if i really was about to cry. she knows every bad habit of mine. she knows what to do, what will satisfy me, when we make love. i know what to do, and what will satisfy her, when we make love.

what i'm happiest, and proudest of, is that we are totally ourselves when we're with each other. in the beginning few months, i could still sense some resistance from her. some kinda 'i must be like this because this is what i wanna portray to her' kinda resistance. but now, now, ever since a few months back, she is just herself with me. and i see it. how comfortable she is with me, how she lets go and says the stupidest things, does the silliest, most embarrassing things, how she says what is on her mind, and she doesn't care about what i think. because i just accept her whole. likewise when i'm around her.

and i daresay, that's what i'm proudest of. that i'm totally myself with her, and she, with me.

this girl of mine, i really love. i know she thinks i don't love her as much, but what i'm trying to say is that my love for her transcends many things. it really does. i see how much she loves me now, i see her love for me growing everyday. i see myself loving her so much. i see myself loving her even more with each single passing day.

she is my princess, and she has melted my heart. she is my knight, and she has captured my heart.

she is, quite simply, the most perfect girl i could ever ask for.

in other words, after some reflection, i could not ask for more than my girl.