me, myself

Dear girl,

Stupid.
Like a fool.

Why, when you know you'll feel like a fool?
I don't know.

You can say it countless times.
You can do it any amount of times.
But, so what?

So fucking what?

You end up feeling like a fool.
You end up feeling stupid.

You don't even know, do you?
You don't even know if she loves you.
Because she doesn't say it.
And when she finally does, you know it isn't real.
You know it isn't the proper way.
And that breaks your heart.

So what does it all do?
You don't even know.

You just do what you do.
You just do what you do, girl.
Because that's all you know to do.
And because that's what you do.
That's what you do, to show her you love her.
To show her you love her.
You do all you do because of love.
Because you love her.

But so what?

So fucking what?

You just stand and wait.
You stand and wait.
Wait for things to be fixed.
Wait for insecurities to be secured.
Wait for uncertainties to be certain.
Wait for doubt to become reassurance.
You just sit and wait.

Because it isn't up to you.

You just do all you can do.
You just love.
Because you know you love her.
Because love is all you can give her.
Because you want her to feel loved.

Whatever else pertaining to you,
You can do nothing about it.

Dear girl,
Why are you standing there,
With nothing and no one but yourself?
Dear girl,
Why are there tracks of wetness on your cheeks?
Why are you crying?
Why is it that I can see,
That I can see that your heart is sad?
Dear girl,
Why are you standing there?
Why do you cry?

Dear girl,
Why do you feel like a fool?
Why do you feel stupid?
Dear girl,
Don't you know it isn't up to you?
You know it isn't up to you now.

Yet, yet you still do it.

Because, dear girl,
I can see that you love.
That you love that her.

What else?
Now what?

.....................