lily, again?

"Give you a lily, shall i?
i dare you to love me.
Yes, you, and only you."


one year ago, yesterday, she asked me if i was referring to her when i posted that entry. she asked me, and i was touching her hand, she was touching my hand, even though we weren't together yet. the electricity was there, though. my gosh it really was there. the electricity and the chemistry. and then, one year ago, yesterday, she told me that she knew i was referring to her. and we weren't even together yet. just flirting, just touching, just the chemistry.

one year later, today, she still has the ability to give me the tingles and the shivers when she says something, texts me, or touches me. she still gives me the tingles when i'm next to her and she says something. one year later, today, i can still feel the electricity, the chemistry. it never disappears.


of course, in a week, we are gonna be together for a year. one year. and she still gives me the tingles. she still gives me the shivers. one year, and i still find myself smiling at nothing when i think of her. almost a year, and i still look forward to each and every time i get to see her, i get to talk to her, i get to be with her. one year, and i still want to see her, talk to her, be with her, all the time. one year, and the love just keeps growing stronger.

i say this because in a past relationship that i had, when it was fast approaching one year, i couldn't even be bothered to think about it. in that screwed up relationship that i had before i met my girl, when it was about to be a year, i was already bored. i was already flirting with other girls, i was already talking to my baby and lying that i wasn't. i was already postponing and cancelling appointments with that one that i was in the relationship with, because i didn't want to see her, and i couldn't be bothered to. in other words, i was sick and tired and bored of that one. before a year was up, i knew i couldn't tolerate her erratic, stupid, and childish behaviour, and i knew i wouldn't be able to tolerate it even if i was to pass a year with that one. i knew i didn't want to be stuck in a relationship with her. i knew i didn't wanna be with her in the future at all.


but now. now it's all so different. i still look forward to every single thing that i'm gonna do with my girl. i want to be with her, talk to her, even just texting her or talking to her via ym. it makes me happy. there is only her in my eyes, i don't see, don't think of anyone else. i let her into my world. i let her into my soul. and i know i want to be with her in the future. i know that this girl, this girl of mine, is the one i want to be with for now, and for life. and i work towards it. i am willing to change, to listen to her, to listen to whatever she says about me that sucks, and do something about it. because i know.

so i guess i'm saying this because it's true what they say -- you know when it's real. you know when it's true. i guess i really do know.

almost a year together. a year since we first met.

i really do know.
i really know now that it is you.