woah

mood: stunned

music: Fall To Pieces - Velvet Revolver

woah. i mean seriously. school really sucks. and today i don't know why but the reality of school just stunned me. then i realised that school was but paradise until i came into university. everyone around me is so fake. like seriously. all sucking up to professors, fighting just to participate in class discussions, licking professors' boots and stuff. its all so fucked up. i mean, does it really matter how much u participate in class? yes, marks are given, but when u go out to work next time, that's only when u truly think and generate ideas. and at that time, what ur thinking of will be real. everything now tt everyone is doing is just so fake. all for the results, the marks. it makes me sick just being in class and looking at everything tt's going on. i would bet my last dollar that most of them are fake. that's not the real them. so when i sit back and look at them, i just don't know what to say. i hate being fake. so im jus myself when i enter class. hence people think that im intimidating. i mean, pls, do u expect me to smile throughout the lesson? i'd look like some stupid silly freak. gosh i wish people would just stop being fake.
and one more thing. i am dying from lack of sleep. i average 3-4 hours of sleep everyday. i don't even know what i do. but i only get tired at around 3 or 4am. and i have to get up at 7am for school. so im on autopilot mode most of the time. like a fucking zombir. my eyes can hardly open. damn.
thought of the day:is it possible not to be fake?