the meaning of...

"Written on the body is a secret code only visible in certain lights; the accumulations of a lifetime gather there. In places the palimpsest is so heavily worked that the letters feel like Braille. I like to keep my body rolled up away from prying eyes. Never unfold too much, tell the whole story. I didn't know that Louise would have reading hands. She has translated me into her own book." - Written On The Body by Jeanette Winterson


I was reading extracts of this book, Written On The Body by Jeanette Winterson, essentially a lesbian author, and some thoughts just came to mind.

Does every relationship need a gender before we can start to contemplate its love, its relationship, or its meaning? If we took away the gender identity, would it be easier to focus on that? Most people put too much emphasis on a "normal" relationship, that of a girl and a guy. However, a girl-girl relationship is still love, it is still a relationship. Same goes for guy-guy relationships. Relationships are just that, love is just that -- love. In every relationship, regardless of the genders involved, there is always a story of love, or longing, or loss. There is always a certain meaning held. Why bother about the genders involved when every relationship in itself is almost always the same -- love? Everyone involved in a relationship will always have a story to tell, and that story in itself is what should be focused upon, not on the genders involved.

What made me think, as well, was the usage of cliches. No matter how you try to twist certain words, the language of love is always reiterated throughout the world. Lack of originality when it comes to describing love. The words "I love you", for example, are words that are so widely used. Even if you were to use the words "I love you more than life itself", it is also a cliche, something that has been said before in The Twelvth Night. Therefore, what it made me think of was that when it comes to love, everyone is experienced, regardless of how and in what ways. That is why the words of love are cliched, are so often used.

However, it also got me to thinking -- So what if the language of love is cliched and lacks originality? What matters most is that at any one time, the people saying those words of love mean it. There is no doubt as to the sincerity and love, the subtle undertones in those words. What really matters isn't that the words are cliched, rather that the one saying it means it with all her heart and soul, and that is what, really, truly matters. That makes all the difference between words of love that are unique and original, but lack the sincerity and true love, as opposed to a cliched one, but said with all heartfelt meaning and love.

Now, when it comes to my relationship with the girlfriend, what I've read, the thoughts that generated in my mind, somehow all come into play. The girlfriend can, in many ways, read me like a book. And where, in the past, I would have much liked to be private, the girlfriend has changed that. She has translated me into her own book. And i love that about her.

When it comes to saying those cliched words of love, I don't normally go that route. I don't say words of love very often, because they only come to mind if I mean them. I used to think that words like "I love you endlessly" and "I love you till the end of time" were cliched and i would try to say it differently. But a lot of things had happened, we had a sort of time out for a day, and it made me think. It doesn't matter what I say and how I say it, it is that I mean it that matters. So now, I have stopped trying to find new ways to describe my love, to tell the girlfriend I love her. Instead, I just do it in the simplest way -- by just saying I love you. Because at the base of it all, it is me at my most true and sincere. And of course, besides just saying it, I show it too. In listening to her, in caring, in changing my behaviour which even I think is too much at times, in curbing my temper, in planning surprises for her. That is just me, at my sincerest.

Of course, we don't live for only that. The girlfriend has been telling me that recently. Its true, we don't live for only that, i agree. But i also know that life, in itself, can never be complete without giving and receiving love. There are different forms of love, of course, parental love, friendly love, and love love. We don't live for only one form of love, but parental and friendly love wouldn't make life truly complete. Together with real relationship love, life is complete, life would be a happy, meaningful one.

We have commitments, responsibilities. We have goals to work towards, ambitions. But essentially, when we come home after a day of commitments, responsibilities, who do we want to come home to? Yes, there may be people who want to come home to parents. But above and beyond it all, everyone wants to come home to the ones they love. They want to put down all the commitments and all, and just spend time, be with the one they love. Because, essentially, when you have achieved all that you have, when you have smth good to share, smth sad or bad to share, you want to come home to the one you love, to share your day with them, to put your feet up and watch the tv in companionable and lovely silence. There isn't much of a point coming home to an empty space, both at home and in your heart.

So although i agree we don't live only for love, but it plays a very, very important part for anyone of us. And the same goes for me. And although forever is impractical, I think for the long term, and I know, from the very start we were together, that being with the girlfriend is like coming home. That, is my long term.

I guess I've written long enough, so that's about all I have to share. This book made me really think, and i had this implulse to share it with anyone reading. So i do hope you had a good time reading this.