19

One year and seven months today. (Or rather, yesterday.)

I do not consciously keep count of the years and months that we've been together. Rather, it is a subconscious thing, because somehow, when the 21 of each month arrives or is arriving, somehow my mind rings that alarm clock in me and I realise.

This length of time is sufficient enough for me to know a lot of things about her. Her idiosyncrasies, her little habits and superstitions, her enunciations and tones when she feels a load of different emotions, her character, things like these.

I guess there isn't much of a reason for this post, just that I felt like writing.

Talking to a friend today over tea and cakes made me realise that there are some things that you just learn to live with. The reasons behind these may be unclear, but whatever it may be, you learn to live with it, rather than letting it get to you. The reason behind this is simple -- if you really care and love enough of the other person, you learn to live with the things that you know you can live with, instead of making a big fuss about it.

It's more of the fact that you've already known so much about this person that she, being herself, supercedes any of the bad habits or things that you cannot really stand, so that being the case, you learn to live with it.

Then I got to thinking of how I got to accepting and living with so many of her tiny idiosyncrasies that if it all suddenly disappears, it would feel rather weird, because they make up those tiny atoms that will make up the tiny molecules that will make up -- her.

Like how it is just not in her nature to be expressive. Like how she does not text me as much unless I text her first or I remind her to. Like how when she starts speaking in a certain tone, I know she is either too stressed or scared but pretending to be alright. Like how she acts in this certain way and I know that it is because she is insecure or unhappy. Like how when she suddenly keeps quiet or talks lesser, I know it is because of one of these three reasons.

Of course, let's not forget the things I learnt about her when we lived together and slept beside each other for 3 months.

Things like how, when we make love and she starts to breathe in this certain way when I touch her, I know she is about to come. Like how I know when it's the right time to touch her just at the right places. Like how I know her most sensitive spot and the things she likes me to do. Things like how, when she comes, I know exactly the sounds she will make, and what she will do or say. And like how I know that after she comes, she will act in this certain way or the other.

Things like how, when she sits up in the middle of the night, I know she is still asleep but her mind is still thinking about other things, and all it takes is a gentle patting and caressing of her back to get her to lie back down and fall asleep. Like how, when she starts whining and making noise in the middle of the night, I know she is either looking for something to hug or wants me to hug her. Like how, early in the morning, she turns to me and starts looking for my arm, and I know she wants me to snuggle up to her and hold her to sleep. Like how she falls asleep on my arm and drools on me, and she and I both know that we don't care about that.

It is these tiny little things that I know about her that makes my heart melt until now, that makes my heart either race or skip a beat. It is these tiny little things I know about her that makes me realise that I accept her fully, the way she is, and anything else that might come along, I learn to live with it.

I guess that's just it. She is the way she is, and I love her the way she is.

Aww now, this really is a sickeningly sweet post.