catching up from the land of love

it's been quite awhile.

dust the dust off my blog, and begin writing.

i'm here in the land of love, or what my bffae-s call it. i'm here in the land of love with her, and will be here for the next 2 months or so.

things have changed, if i dare say so. the dynamics have changed. not in a bad way, no. more like we are now so comfortable with each other, there are a lot of thing we say and do unknowingly, because we're so much like a part of each other.

it's funny, how we live so apart, we live far apart from each other, in different countries, but each time we meet, each time we live together when i'm there with her or she's in my country with me, it is never different, it is never awkward. it's almost as if we live in the same country and see each other everyday. i dare say, however, that the only difference lies in us knowing, and being aware of what we have and what we do not have currently, and the steps we take to cherish and treasure it shows our awareness. we do not take seeing each other, meeting each other, living with each other, for granted. as a matter of fact, we do not really take each other for granted when it comes to things like these.

i notice, though, a certain change in her. she's becoming short-tempered. she's becoming demanding. she's becoming spoilt. and she takes certain things that i do for her for granted. it's satirical, how the characteristics she used to dislike in me, now has disappeared from me and manifests itself in her. perhaps it is a kind of revenge, for me to feel how she felt in the past.

but if anything, she taught me patience. she taught me patience and love. so now, i am exceedingly patient with her. at times, like awhile ago, i see her temper rise so quick, so fast, and in such spurts of outrage that of course, my own temper rises. i don't like it, and i try to calm down.

most of the time, though, i am exceedingly patient with her. perhaps it is her thesis year, perhaps that is why her temper is short, she is demanding. and most times, i don't mind. in fact, i don't mind very much at all. but sometimes, it is in her actions, and for the time that i've been here, there have been times where i feel she doesn't love me, where i feel that maybe, just maybe, i'm her comfort zone, i'm her reassurance, i help her with her work, i tutor her, but that is all there is to it.

i don't get mad, though, because i understand that she wants to keep things in control. she wants to keep it under wraps. and she doesn't wanna hurt the people i don't wanna hurt too. but if it is too extreme, if her actions are too extreme, perhaps it could be a reflection of how she feels? i don't know, and i don't wanna think about it. i asked her, and she looked me in the eyes and told me she loves me. and if she can look me in the eye and say it, then i believe her, and i trust in her. for i have no reason to do otherwise.

the dynamics have changed some, but my patience and love have grown too. perhaps we really are meant to be. we work well together. we laugh happily together. we make love with a passion and a love so deep and so real that i could never feel it with anyone else but her. and there is no one i can imagine myself with, except her.

perhaps we really are meant to be. it is a magical world, after all.

on another note, my results were just released, for my last elective of my course. and i got an A+. a dammit A+! i have never gotten an A+ for any science or calculating module. in other words, any module that requires math or science, i have never gotten an A+. but i have. this time, i really outdid myself.

i don't know why. perhaps it was a drive to graduate, because i feel like a failure. perhaps because my prof said i was too brave in attempting to take a science module when i come from an arts background. perhaps i needed to prove it to my family. or perhaps i just wanted to show her that she, too, can be my lucky star and my motivation.

perhaps, i needed it for myself.

whatever it may be, i did it. i really did it. i got an A+. and now, i am a proud graduate.

i am a proud graduate, with better results than i expected. and i am with her, happily in love, living with my girl.

things have never been better. :)