the expanse of difference

I've said it once, and I will say it again.

Where this is once, there is always another time.

Some things just don't change, do they.

Recently, she has been treating me as if I am some kind of lesser being. She gets mad at me when I don't do something for her, she gets mad when I don't pick up her calls. She gets mad at the funny things.

The most annoying one of all is when she speaks to me. Oh, the way she speaks to me. It could freeze oceans and lakes, it could freeze a human's blood. The way she speaks to me lately is just really plain rude. She demands, she asks, she speaks. It is all in the same tone.

When she wants me to edit something for her or do something for her, boy, the way she speaks to me, you would think that I owe her something. You would think that I owed her a living. It is not a casual 'please change this for me' tone. It is a 'why aren't you changing it for me why are you so silly to put that down in the first place and you still want me to ask you to change it nicely when you should have changed it all on your own i am wasting my time and breath talking to you to change it' tone. And mind you, what she wants me to change is what I do for her of my own accord.

The way she speaks, it slowly, slowly, pisses me off.

The thing about this is I have been nice. I get mad, but when I argue with her, I argue sense. But the way she speaks.. oh my.

Tonight was one of the worsts.

Never mind that she did not contact me the entire day today. I had no idea where she went or what she was going to do. I had stuff to talk to her about today. She did not deign to contact me at all. Only when she bought her plane ticket. Then no contact at all.

So I just called her awhile ago because I had some stuff to talk to her about. I guessed that she was out, so okay.

But oh boy, the way she spoke to me. It could make even the gentlest person boil with anger.

The way she spoke to me was as if she was talking to a lesser being who was not worthy of her words. The way she sounded was almost as if I did something wrong by calling her because I wanted to talk to her about stuff. The way she spoke to me was almost derogatory. Like I was an idiot for calling her. Like her time was so precious that she could not waste any moment of it talking to me.

Like I was some kind of annoying fucking fool while she was the greater being.

I don't get it.

I do not ask for much from her, because hell, she does not even contact me most of the time. I contact her. She would not call me unless she has something important to tell me or something she wants me to do. I call her all the time when I am free or when I just miss her.

I do not ask for much from her, except that I hear her voice at night. Oh, most nights yes. But comes a night like this and she does not inform me at all. So i wait up and call when I could go to sleep.

I don't get it.

I have no qualms with her going out with her friends.

I have a problem with the way she speaks to me in front of her friends. And behind her friends. Actually no, make that as long as she wants to be included with her friends.

Oh, the way she speaks when that happens. It could freeze your blood.

And she will tell me how I am being unfair because she does not get pissed when I am with my friends.

-- But obviously. I don't speak to her in the tone she speaks to me with when I am with my friends. If anything, I am still just as nice, maybe even sweeter, when I speak to her and I am with my friends.

The expanse of difference.

I call her and I feel like a fucking fool.

She calls me and I make her feel that she is the love of my life.

A fool versus the love of her life.

Guess who wins.